"Let's see Pope Benedict XVI draw up the perfect play on thrd-and-long"

Now that Pope Benedict XVI has assumed the most important position in the Roman Catholic Church, attention can return to the occupant of the second.

Charlie I.

Jason Kelly of the South Bend Tribune wrote the funniest sports column I have ever read -- "Mitre by Adidas, doctrine by Charlie I." Writing about the fans' "faith that Notre Dame football will rise again," he somehow managed to tread the line between obnoxiousness and humor without ever once stepping over the line.

You can't lose with line like:

• "Maybe that explains the relative haste of the conclave in Rome. Pick a Pope before kickoff, before the first audience with Charlie Weis."
• "His sermons on offense and how to execute it have made believers of players and prayerful fans alike during this spring season of rebirth."
• "Rooted in the doctrine of moving the chains, the principles Weis espouses in his encyclicals satisfy both conservatives and liberals. As Rev. Michael Heintz noted in a Michiana Point of View column Wednesday, a good Catholic should aspire to defy such simplistic, superficial labels anyway."
• "While the College of Cardinals selected a man described as the "defender of the faith" from Germany, Notre Dame chose a man of offense from Jersey."
• "Like pilgrims to the stain that resembles the Virgin Mary on a Chicago underpass, devoted Irish followers also believe they see the reflection of that holy coaching trinity in Weis."

Man-o-man am I going to miss reading the Tribune sports page every morning.