Half a Lifetime Ago

Three years and three months ago, a three year, three month old boy joined our family.

My, how time has flown,

but I can barely remember a time when he was not part of our lives.

You will always be my little bunny!

I Should Know Better Than This

I am a nervous wreck about our homestudy visit tomorrow.

It is not as if we have never done this before. I know that we are not being judged on the cleanliness of our home or the stunningly perfect answers to all of the social worker's questions.

...yet I have been scrubbing the tile grout and clearing every pile of clutter.

I had myself in quite a tizzy. Then I took five minutes to write up a to-do list.

Very attainable.

In addition to my two-hour Home Blessing (which I usually do on Fridays), I will clean the refrigerator and tidy the front entrance.

That's it -- two and a half hours of work, and we should look like reasonably responsibly organized parents.

I hope.

Wish me luck, please. Or even better, say a prayer or two for us.

Thanks.

The Russian Word for Goose

I thought that my Unplugged post this week would be about the bird's nest outside of our kitchen window.

But we have yet to see any actual birds near the nest, so I am going to talk about linguistics instead.

I've wanted to reintroduce the Russian language in our home, but haven't decided quite how to do it. Although I can speak and read Russian proficiently, I am nowhere near fluent enough for the kids to learn "natively." I have also been reticent to use Russian text because of the similarity (and therefore confusability) of the alphabets.

Agent 002 gave usthe kickstart that we needed.

For the past few weeks, he has been pulling Russian books off of the shelf, demanding that I read them. Never being a mom to refuse the opportunity to read to the kids, I have obliged willingly each time. His favorite story is Колубок, a Russian language version of The Gingerbread Man with a puffy round pastry in place of the man made of cookie.

Given this new-found interest in Russian language books, I decided to pull out some of our Russian picture books.

Inspired by this week's Unplugged theme, we started with the book about birds -- Птицы.

Agent 002 echoed each words as I read it, except without my Yankee accent. I knew that the Russian phonemes would still be accessible to him, but I did not know that he would be able to pronounce words correctly even without a proper model. Mind you, he had no idea what the words meant, but they rolled off his tongue like it was his native language.*

Agent 004, on the other hand, had a very difficult time pronouncing multiple consonants together. Птица sounded more like "puh-pizza" than "ptitsa." But she sure had fun trying!

It was her, however, that was fascinated to learn the Russian word for familiar birds. Here is what she learned:

• птица (ptitsa) - bird
  
• утка (ootka) - duck
  
• петух (petookh) - rooster
  
• индейка (indeika) - turkey
  
• гусь (goose) - goose

I still don't know where we are going with this, but I am glad that we are doing something. I will keep these books in the reading basket, and see if anyone wants me to read any more.

------------------------------------------------------------
*I guess it is, in fact his native language, although his English vocabulary was better than his Russian ever was by the time he had been with us six months. And it really did surprise me to hear him speak that clearly.

Haiku: Circles

This is a scribble I created on the day that Agent 004 was born, four months before we learned of her existence. It would be another eight months (three days after the first anniversary of her birth), before she became our daughter.

She was not yet mine,
But I knew it in my heart --
Love you, baby girl.

I'm a Grammy!

It is official -- Agent 004 is Kayley Warillever's mommy for ever and ever and ever.

In a ceremony that mimicked Cousin P's adoption finalization to the "T," Agent 004 signed her Cabbage Patch Kid's adoption certificate yesterday in front of a judge (me). Then, just like we did for P, we had tea and cake to celebrate.

Updated 1/30/08 to include a picture of me holding my first precious grandchild.

Girls' Morning Out

In response to "Guys' Night Out" (in which my husband and son go out for ice cream while I get the baby fed, bathed and to sleep), comes "Girls' Morning Out." This is when the girls (Agent 004 and I) go for a walk while the guys (Papa and Agent 002) sleep in. Have you noticed that the guys get the sweet end of both of these events?

Both of these rituals are the result of four people with very different schedules living in one 100 square foot room. The children have been surprisingly good about the lack of space; Agent 004 has a managable amount of space to scoot, crawl, and pull herself about; Agent 002 has just enough room to play his favorite game -- throwing all of his blocks under the furnniture and then retrieving them with a plastic rake. The obvious difficulty is that the children have vastly different sleep schedules and constantly wake each other up. Thus I am at the internet cafe with Agent 004 sleeping in her stroller as Agent 002 should awake very soon from his middday nap. Hopefully with the change in time zones we will be able to adjust their afternoon naps to coincide......

Have I mentioned yet that this parenthood thing rocks? Even a full month in, I am still loving it.

Two weeks as a parent.......

Russia 5:24pm

Having just started my third week as a parent, I am beginning to laugh at the folly of my ways in the first days. Some rules for those who are starting out :

1. Never, ever, put orange juice in a sippy cup.
2. Do not say the word "cookie" when you have none one hand, even if your son did not know any English a week ago.
3. Toys should never come within a hundred meter radius of a toilet.
4. When booking a hotel, make sure there will be screens on the windows, especially if you will be on the 21st floor.
5. When a toddler says that he needs to go "pee-pee," do not hold him up against your own chest to get him there faster.
6. Two parents are easier than one. Three would be better.

So far so good. Our family of three is getting along very well. We will see how things work out when we add a fourth family member in a week..........

Getting excited

I should know better, but I am beginning to get excited. Unless something goes awry today, Agent 002 will be released to my custody on Monday. As in, on Monday, he will officially, legally, and completely be a Warillever. My son. Our son.

I went shopping -- I bought him slippers (Russians do not where shoes in their homes) and a few toys. Nothing major mind you -- I am a little strapped for cash and I know that I will need to lug this all home -- but I bought him his very own sandbox shovel, a plastic dumptruck, and a small car. I really wanted to get him a Tonka truck, but thought better of it.

Did I mention that he is obsessed with cars? And that he will be our son on Monday?

So much to say

If we did this again, I would bring a laptop with me.

I have several blog posts written out longhand which I have not had time at a computer to post. With my limited online time, precededence goes to communication with my husband and with my adoption agency. Sorry.

Here are some titles of the posts that are written or in process: "The joy of cooking," "An opportunity for identity theft," "Ruskii Bwit," "Where happy meets sad,"The (comparative) cost of living," "Moscvichii," and "People on the metro."

Most blog thoughts come to me during the 90 minute commute to Agent 002's baby home, and then flit away as I spend the next two hours playing with him. The trick is to write them down at lunchtime.

Agent 002 talks

13:38 Moscow

Some of you have asked (with unnecessary embaressment) whether Agent 002 speaks English or Russian.

He does, in fact, speak Russian, although he is quickly learning English. His vocabulary now includes:

• car
• bye-bye
• no
• fly (applied to all insects, just as he calls all insects 'mooka' in Russian)
• God bless you

That last one cracks me up. He appears to be allergic to pollen, and was sneezing like mad this morning. I said "God bless you" after each sneeze, and soon he was pretending to sneeze so that I would say it again. When I fake-sneezed, he pronounced (with no discernable accent) "God bless you" to me. Neat.

Alone again (but healthy)

13:07 Moscow

Mr. Warillever is enroute to the United States again. Someone has to take care of the cat, you know. And prepare the house, which is still in a state of complete disarray. And study for the bar of course. He is very nervous about the bar; he claims to be very distracted from his studies. Not sure why.

His distraction is not the result of poor health; we were both tested for AIDS, syphillis, hepatitis and somthing else this morning. My Russian is not good enough to understand technical terms. The judge in Agent 004's case requires these tests, and I would not have time to have it done in the US before her proceeding. Mr. Warillever had his done with me for moral support (and so that he would not have to deal with the logistics of scheduling it once he gets home. Something about being very busy).

So here I am, alone in Moscow. I have the middle of the day free while Agent 002 and his compatriots nap; I spend the morning and afternoon with him. The poor little guy is getting very impatient to leave the home -- he cried as we left the past few days. I know that I can't let his crying get me down, but it breaks my heart. I cry too as soon as I leave the orphanage gate. At least I have a long walk to clean myself up before I get to the Metro.

And the Verdict is?

12:53pm Moscow

....that Agent 002 is our son.

Mr. Warillever and I went to court yesterday to officially petition to adopt Agent 002. The proceeding was more intensive than our translator had expected, but nonetheless went very smoothly. I knew that we had everything in order, that we would have already known if there was a major problem with our petition, but I was still shaking. I stopped breathing when the judge left the bench to "consider" her decision. I have no idea how long she was gone -- 30 seconds, 10 minutes, or an hour -- but when she came back she read a declaration announcing that she approved our petition.

Of course, it is not yet over. All MosGorSud (Moscow City Court) decisions have a ten-business-day period in which the decision can be appealed. During this time the little Agent will stay at the Baby Home. There is no reason to think that anyone would appeal the decision, but there is still a bit of nailbiting going on on my end.

My backpack, My life

11am Moscow time

front pocket

• half-eaten roll of Smarties
• map of Moscow
• small notebook for jotting addresses, directions, and mass times
• open package of Halls' lozenges
• 3 pens
• 2 pencils
• passport with visa and registration card
• travel pack of baby wipes
• 2 tampons

middle pocket

• Moscow guidebook in which to keep dollar bills flat
• camera bag holding camera and extra battery. Apartment keys clipped to bag.
• plastic bag with lunch enclosed -- cheese sandwich and tomato.
• Book -- Reading Rooms (which I would highly recommend to thsoe librarian types out there)
• USB cord

back pocket

• notebook for writing details of day, keping talley of expenses, and for drafting email messages and blog entries (This entry was written on Manezh Square, sitting next to te\he Lennon impersonator who charges 150 rubles to have your picture taken with him. He currently has no customers, so he is feeding the pigeons and chatting with Karl Marx adn Tsar Nicholas I) -- note: I left this area when the Tsar started hitting on me.
• blue folder with official documents such as power of attorney for husband
• purple folder of info including agency fee agreeements, the Agents' growth charts, and lists of questions and phone numbers
• brown cardigan

side pocket

• Nestle water bottle refilled with water boiled in tea kettle last night

Double agent

Double agent
Originally uploaded by warillever.

Agent 004 on the scene

Agent 004 is quite the charmer. I spent 5 hourse with her yesterday, and other than a shriek when her hat was put on, she did not cry. She did smile, laugh, and babble a bit. She is frightenly mobile -- she crawls and "table walks,"** but she was also quite happy nestled in my arms.

There are eight babies in her group -- 2 boys and six girls. All are the same age. One of the others (Code Name: Shamrock) will be adopted at the same time by a family from Ireland. Agent 004 and CN Shamrock are only days apart in age. I exchanged addresses with her future parents so that Agent 004 can keep in touch with someone from her former life.

It was hard to say goodbye, but like Agent 002, she is in good hands at the baby home. teh staff are sad to see the babies leave, but are genuinely happy to see them get families.

** I think the term is generally "couch walking" -- i.e. walking while grasping onto a piece of furniture. We use what we've got.

Live from Moscow!

15:47 Moscow time

As my life gets more exciting, I post less and less.... The last six weeks have been a whirlwind -- I graduated from library school, my husband graduated from law school, we moved halfway accross the country, we bought a house, we sold a house (yes...in that order), we spent a week in Russia to meet one child (Agent 002), we unpacked our house, and now I am back in Russia to meet a second child (Agent 004) and to complete the adoption of Agent 002.

I visited Agent 002 today. He was very happy to see me. We go to court to adopt him next Tuesday, and then he and I will stay in Moscow for three weeks to complete paperwork. I brought him a photoalbum today, and he really liked it. He showed it off to his caretakers and friends -- "Look -- this is my house. Look -- this is my cat!" (In Russian, of course).

I meet with Agent 004 tomorrow. I am not as nervous as I was when I met 002, because she is too young to dislike me. I have never been to the city she lives in before, so that should be an adventure all its own. Tula is located about two hours south of Moscow. We will spend the day there, returning late tomorrow night.

Next time I post I will try to bring landscape pictures for show and tell. Sorry, I can't post pictures of Agents 002 and 004 until they are totally and completely legally mine. I am checking email every few days, but may not have time to respond to everything, because I am paying by the minute for service.

Why can't anything be simple?

We have had an incredibly exhilarating week. Do not let anything in the next few paragraphs make you forget that we are incredibly happy about the way things are working out. We are new homeowners and we are travelling to Russia next week to meet our future son.

Now for the whining.

The plan for the week was as follows:

• Sunday -- graduation.
• Monday -- pack moving truck.
• Tuesday -- closing on sale of old house, drive moving truck to New Hampshire.
• Wednesday -- do some errands.
• Thursday -- final walkthrough of new house, simultaneous homestudy.
• Friday -- close on new house, move in.

Some of these things (namely those on Sunday, Monday, and Thursday) happened. But the old house did not close on Tuesday. Then (after repeated reassurances and a few lies from a number of sources), it did not close on Wednesday or Thursday. We did not have final word until late Thursday. After much nailbiting, it closed this morning, and we were able to close on the new house just afterwards. But wait -- the paperwork never actually came through! Technically we are inhabiting a house owned by someone else. Not as if the former/current owner cares -- he has already been paid. But we have a moving truck in the driveway of a house we live in but don't yet legally own.

So why do I have the time to blog? Because I was tasked with handling adoption paperwork, but have been forgetting paperwork at whichever house I am not currently at. I need to have our visa applications overnighted by 5pm in order to have permission to enter Russia. I am at my parents' house because I forgot our visa applications here. I am waiting here because I forgot our passports (which need to be shipped to the Russian consulate) at the new house. My father is enroute with the passports and photos.

After eighteen moths of waiting and waiting, we got nine days notice to travel. Plane tickets have been purchased. Obnoxiously expensive hotel room booked for one night. Will work on finding a better option for the other days. Must get visa within next few days.

But we get to meet him! And then we will go back in a few short (!?!) weeks to adopt him. And all is good. All is very good.

For those who asked, the cat is recovering well from her motion sickness. She will be staying with my parents for a couple of weeks as we have doors open for moving boxes in and as we travel to Russia. She really seems to like it here. She likes the neighbors. She likes my dad. She likes the fluffy rugs. She likes the cozy nook on the desk. She may not want to move back in with us when the time comes.....

We have the best friends in the world

Shower Baloons
Originally uploaded by Reprehriestless.

A bunch of our friends threw a shower for us yesterday. It was unexpected and wonderful.

I would say that our wonderful friends are another thing I'll miss when we move, but we'd lose them even if we were staying. All of 'em (even the locals) are also moving on this spring or summer.

Some background

As I published the last post I realized that not all of you are "up to speed" with our adoption situation. My husband and I are planning on adopting two children from Russia. If everything happens according to the current plan we will be the parents of a three-year-old boy and one-year old girl by fall.

If you want a blow-by-blow account of one family's experience with adopting from Russia, check out the Stratton's Adoption Journey. Our experience has been much like theirs, except that we've been at it longer (we signed with our agency in January 2004; they in August 2004), and they are farther along in the process (they already travelled on trip one).

This process has taken a lot more time, effort, and psychic energy than I could ever have imagined. There have been some serious lowpoints, but I am continually bouyed by the image of these two children in our arms.